More Than A Coincidence
by It'sACoincidence
Summary: A closeted homosexual...his band mates...what can happen? A lot of things can happen. One man, his girlfriend, his band. Sorry for all the gender assumptions. Please, enjoy. Don't forget to visit No Coincidence on YouTube and leave cancer comments on their song, Postcards!
1. Chapter 1

No Coincidence. That was their band name. Little did Jordan know it was more than a coincidence. Jordan had a "girlfriend" named Bonnie. She was a cover up for Jordan's gay desires. Here's the story: Jordan was fucking all his band mates behind all of their backs. In public, Jordan lays all over his fellow band mate, Tony. Now, everyone says he's gay. They'd be correct. Jordan will only eat his girlfriend's ass like groceries. I mean, not only _her_ ass but the band mates asses as well. Bonnie doesn't have a dick so he's not interested in...that. Coincidence? I think not. Jordan only likes Bonnie's ass because she's a female and males and females both have asses. Jordan is gay confirmed.

This is all I will explain in this chapter. Why he hides, what he does, and things about the band. The following chapters is when I'll get into things. First, No Coincidence is a pop punk band. They have a couple of songs but the only one YouTube knows about is postcards. That song gave many people cancer so...that's why they stopped posting songs. So, Jordan isn't the lead singer but is the main person with drama. He only eats chicken and ass. Anyway, when he fucks his band mates, he tells each one to keep it a secret so they don't get jealous. My thing is, who the fuck would sleep with him? I mean, come on. Have standards. I can't change the way they are so...I'll share their story because I know they won't. God...closeted homosexuals...You have a month dedicated to you. It'll be alright. I hope you enjoy the bizarre story of Jordan and his band mates. I know I did...(send help)

Disclaimer: The No Coincidence band members don't like hate. Please keep it to a minimum, which would be commenting cancer comments on their song, Postcards, on their YouTube channel, No Coincidence. It would be greatly appreciated. Another thing! I might know what you're thinking: Who are you? I'm memelord. Nice to meet you. (If anyone's there.) What are we waiting for? Let's get riiiiiight into the story! (Killer Keemstar bby.)


	2. Chapter 2

Jordan was rehearsing with his band mates. They started by singing their song, Postcards. Jordan did what he did best, played the guitar. (Riteeee.)

"Hey, Jake, can I talk to you in my bedroom?" Jordan asked. He was horny and couldn't fuck Tony at this time, so he took what he could get. Not gonna describe what went on so I'll just tell ya. Jordan ate da booty like KFC then fucked da booty. Still wanting more, he asked Jake for the good succ. He got the good succ. He leaned over to whisper a little something is Jake's ear.

"Don't tell the other band mates about this. I promise, this will go on if you keep your mouth shut." Jordan winked. He wasn't going to do it again. I mean, if he had to, he would. He couldn't fuck Bonnie because no matter what she did, she looked constipated...she looked like the hunch back of Notré dame...Quasimodo! That's his name. You think I'm lying but I'mm painfully serious. Anyway, Jordan and Jake walked out of the bedroom into the room where the band was sitting, playing their instruments.

"Long ass talk. What did you two do? Fight?" Tony asked the both of them. Jake let out a nervous laugh.

"Fuck yourself, you prick." Jake said as he flipped his long, blonde, Jesus-like, hair over his shoulder sassily.

"Just play your goddamn drums before I shove the sticks up your ass." Jake said. Jordan and Tony thought the same thing: He might like that. They all went back to playing their instruments and sounding like absolute ass...Most of the reason why Jordan had a raging boner right then and there. Bonnie texted Jordan and he went soft.

"Guys, I'll be right back. Keep practicing." He left the room and sat down at the table. When he read the text, he was shocked.

"Hey, I was just told by someone that they hated the concert." Bonnie sent a sad emoji after that sentence.

"Who the fuck said that? Why would they say that? That's really mean. I'm really offended." Jordan rambled on about being upset. He then decided to make himself feel better with the comments on his channel. He instantly felt worse. There at the top of Postcards was a comment. It went on about how this persons grandpa smoked, stopped, and got cancer. The last sentences said: "My mother told me not to put my family through what my grandpa put us through. Till this day, I have not touched a cigarette but regret it because this video gave me cancer anyway." Jordan had tears in his eyes up until that part.

"You're fucking kidding me. GUYS!" Jordan called his band mates in to look at the comment. Jake laughed quietly while the other boys gave Jordan a bitch face.

"Who would say that? That's really mean. I can't believe this guy! Such a dick." Jordan shook his head, closed the computer and stood up.

"Our band is _amazing!_ Why would anyone say that?" Jordan looked down. Tony put his hand on Jordan's back.

"Shh, it's okay. They're just jealous of our sound." Tony rubbed Jordan's back. Jordan got a boner but remembered that he can never reveal his feelings for his fellow band member. He'll do it when he's sure his band member wants his member. (See what I did there?) All Jordan had to do was fuck Nick then fuck Tony. Save the best for last. Maybe when he was fucking Tony, he could confess his love to Tony. It all hit him like how the ugly train hit Bonnie, hard and fast. Speaking of Bonnie, how would he break up with her? Maybe he could find her cheating. How would he tell Tony he loved him? Maybe it could be a heat of the moment thing...He would be fucking him on a Tuesday so...(See what I did there?)

"Yo, Jordan. You zoned out. You okay?" Jordan snapped back to reality. It felt like gravity was gone.

"Yeah, oop! There goes gravity." (Eminem mothafuckerz.) Jordan gave a laugh. He excused himself to his room while the boys packed up and left. He sat down and thought again. Tony liked music just as much as Jordan did. He could sing that song, Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius to Tony. Jordan had a sweatshirt with a big music note on it. He also had one that said, "All Star." from when he went to a musical...Shrek the Musical! He went with Bonnie though. Who cares? I know he doesn't. Jordan felt like an asshole because he had to drop Bonnie. That's it! Pity sex. He had the plan.

He'd hire someone to sleep with Bonnie, walk in on them, break up with her, leave, and the next day, which would be Tuesday, he would pull Tony into his bedroom, tell him, then do the do. He decided he didn't want to wait. He ate chicken for dinner then went to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Jordan woke up. He jumped off the bed and went straight to his computer. He was going to call a male prostitute and ask him to convince Bonnie to fuck him. After a whole lot of looking, Jordan found someone who looked good enough. Noel Fisher, Male, 20 dollars an hour. Jordan could see why...he was fucking ugly...He looked like a slug! Ew! Jordan looked closer. Holy shit! It looked like the male version of Bonnie. He dialed the number.

"Hey there, sexy? How can I help you?" Answered a voice. Was it Noel?

"Hi um...I see you get paid 20 an hour. I'll pay you 50 if you convince my girlfriend to sleep with you. I then have to walk in on you guys and break up with her." Jordan rushed.

"$50? Alright. Give me your address and we'll drive together, since you need to be there too..." Noel said quietly. Jordan have him the address and 25 minutes, Noel showed up.

"Who's the not-so-lucky lady?" Noel asked. Jordan and him both got int he car.

"Her name's Bonnie. She's fucking ugly so...extra $30 should do." They arrived and Jordan gave Noel the money.

"I'll be in in 5 minutes." Noel nodded and knocked on the door. Bonnie answered. He showed her his card and started speaking.

"Someone sent me to you. Free sex?" Noel said, winking. Bonnie thought he looked familiar and oddly handsome. That's because they look identical but...you know. Noel hopped right on her and started dry- humping her. 5 minutes later, Jordan walked in and saw Bonnie and Noel on the floor, naked. Noel was a real man. His dick was in her vagina, but he was wearing a condom, thank god! That child would looked like he got hit and parked on by the ugly bus, car, plane, and Bonnie's ass. Like, let's not. (Use protection!) But, his dick was blue...Slug dicks are blue. Coincidence...it's more than that/

"Wow, Bonnie. You're a fucking whore. We're done." Jordan had to bite his tongue to stop from laughing. (BRUH YOU THOUGHT HE WAS SMART ENOUGH TO DO THAT! HE'S A DUMB FUCK. HE SMILED AND LEFT. BRUHHH.) Bonnie was calling after him but he was long gone. Now, all he had to do was fuck Nick. He drove Noel home who ran after him. Noel got in his car and left. Every strippers transport is different. Jordan went to go find his phone and called the boys. It was 2:00 anyway. It was time to practice. Jordan begged them to let them practice at his house. When they got there, they practiced for 30 minutes and Jordan decided it was time.

"Yo, Nick. We gotta talk about this YouTube. Let's go in my room." Jordan said, smiling at Nick. He nodded and followed Jordan.

"Jordan? I have something I'd like to tell you...since you're my bro and all." Nick looked down shyly.

"Yeah. Go first." Jordan put an assuring hand on Nick's shoulder. Nick took a deep breath.

"I wanna have sex with you. As an experiment though.." Nick looked in Jordan's eyes.

"That's why you're in here right now." Jordan said as they both started undressing. Jordan wanted to make this one a step up from Jake so he knows what guys like for when he's with Tony. One. More. Day. Now. I can imagine what's going down. (Besides Jordan on Nick.) Let me clarify.

Jordan ate Nick's ass and gave _him_ the good succ. Maybe he should order a boneless pizza...He doesn't even like pizza tho. Also, he remembered, the boys were here. Anyway, ass, succ, then, Jordan brought chicken into this. It was leftover KFC. He saw it in movies and he knew what to do. He rubbed the chicken on Nick's dick for more taste. Chicken succ. It was just the grease but it was pretty good. Add dick to the list. (We all knew this, bros.) Nick and Jordan were done after 15 minutes.

"If you keep this a secret, we'll do this again." Jordan kissed Nick and Nick nodded. Jordan wasn't going to do this again. (Once again, we all knew. Except the band mates...Spreading cancer like that makes them monsters, not people.) They got dressed and exited.

"Wow, guys. Long chat. What went on?" Tony said...He looked a bit jealous? Nahh.

"What do you think? We talked about the comments. We got hate." Jordan said and Nick nodded in a agreement.

"I wonder why." Jake said. He rolled his eyes.

"I think we should do a cover of All Star." Tony said.

"Bro, what the fuck? Are you fucking retarded? We get enough fucking hate...stupid fucktard." Jake said. He was angry because he was in a band full of idiots. (Especially Jordan.)

"We won't put it on YouTube, jackass." Tony fought back. Goddamn Jake cursing everyone out.

"I'm not singing. You pieces of shit can. I refuse to sing a fucking meme. I take music seriously. Kiss my ass." Jake grabbed his stuff and left.

"What the fuck has his panties in a bunch? I swear to fucking god." Jordan said.

"He's really crabby..." Nick chimed in. (Ha! Chimed in. Does it get you thinking? No? Okay.)

"You guys can leave...I'll see you guys tomorrow." Jordan said. They packed up and left. Jordan went into his bedroom and sat down. One more day until he could fuck Tony. They loved Tuesdays. (Tuesdays fucking suck but so does Jordan so...) Jordan thought about it and wasn't as excited as he was yesterday...Everything was so messed up since he met Noel. A fucking stripper. Jordan really couldn't be this stupid...He can't be in love with Noel.

Jordan dialed Noel's real phone number.

"Hey, Jordan. Need me to break up anyone else?" Noel laughed.

"Not now. I was thinking...I...I thought of you all day and I have no clue why." Jordan said.

"Oh honey, I knew you were gay from the moment I met you. I'll be over Tuesday at 5:00. We'll talk and not fuck. That's not how real men work."

"Alright, see you then." (EHEM ONLY ONE OF YOU WILL GET THIS. DO YOU SEE IT?) Jordan hung up and went and listened to music until his mom called him for dinner. Chicken! :D Jordan ate and went to bed. He was in a daze when he got a text. It was from Noel. He opened it and was greeted by a dick pic. Jordan texted back.

"No offence but...why is your dick blue?" Jordan hoped Noel wouldn't get offended.

"Oh! Haha. I have slugitis. It's where you have slug features." Noel said. Jordan finally understood why Noel was so ugly...but so handsome. He was ugly because he looked like Bonnie but handsome because he got him out of that horrible situation. Jordan said goodnight to Noel and went to sleep. He'd finally be able to fuck Tony...He was excited again.


	4. Chapter 4

Jordan woke to the sound of his phone vibrating. He prefers vibrating in his ass but...ya know! He saw a text message from Tony and Noel.

"Hey, bro! The band's coming at 12:00. Can't wait to practice again! We sound so great!" Jordan smiled.

"We don't sound great. We sound _incredible!_ Jake does shit but throw us off. I should sing." Jordan replied.

"Nah, Jake's great too. I g2g. See ya later!" Jordan went to Noel's messages next.

"Hey, you ready for 3:00? I can't wait till 5:00. Is 3:00 okay?" Jordan was eager to talk to Noel in person.

"3:00 is great! See you then!" (Must be true love if it says see you then. Also depressing..)

Jordan got out of bed and ate breakfast. Chicken and waffles...without the waffles. When Jordan was done he went out. At 12:00 he met with the band. 30 minutes in he called Tony.

"Yo, Tony. Can we talk? Please? It's really important. Boys, keep practicing." Jordan said as he walked into his room. Tony walked in behind him. He closed the door and looked at Jordan.

"I...can't." Jordan looked at Tony sincerely.

"Wh-" Tony was cut off when Jordan kissed him. Once again, Jordan was top. (Not tøp. They may suck but not as...high as tøp.)

Jordan gave him succ, ate ass, kissed him, and in return, Jordan got the succ and his ass eaten.

"Wow, you really know how to work around a dick.." Jordan whispered.

"Been liking you forever. I love you, Jordan. You drive me nuts." (No pun intended.)

"I love you too. We have to go." Jordan said.

"Wait, Jordan...we just shared a moment...you;re not going to say anything? Just we have to go?" Tony asked, pissed off.

"Hush. I love someone else, you have a girlfriend! This isn't going to work." Jordan said.

"You piece of shit!" Tony got up and left the room naked.

"HE SLEPT WITH ME AND SAID HE LOVED SOMEONE ELSE!" Tony screamed.

"Aye, he slept with me too...That "talk?" it was sex." Jake admitted.

"Wait...he fucked me yesterday.." Nick said.

"Uh oh..." Jordan said, backing up.

"Which one of us do you love?" Tony said.

"I don't love any of you. I love Noel! I need Noel! I _want_ Noel." Jordan fell to his knees, grabbed his phone, and called Noel, crying.

"Noel! Please come to my place. Quit your job. We'll run away...just me and you. Please, Noel?" Jordan into the phone.

"Jordan...calm down. I can't just _quit_ my job...I'll see you at 5:00." Noel hung up. Jordan was worried. The boys grabbed their stuff and left...Tony got dressed before he left, of course..

"You were gonna fuck a _p_ _rostitute_ after me? That's a new low, even for you." Tony said.

"That's how I broke up with Bonnie...had him fuck her..You're not the only victim here, Tony. Look around. I took advantage of all of you. I got away with it for 2 days. I'm in love and nothing you can say can fucking stop me." Jordan spat. The boys left and Jordan went to bed. He napped till 5:00. He heard knocking on the door. He knew it wasn't his mom. She comes home at 7:00. It was Noel! :DDD

"Hi, Noel!" Jordan exclaimed as he opened the door.

"Hey, Jordan! How are you?" Noel winked.

"Good until you got here." Jordan winked back. Noel looked Jordan up and down.

"What? Is something wrong?" Jordan looked down at himself.

"Did you ever work on a farm?" Noel asked.

"No...why?" Jordan asked confused.

"Because you sure know how to raise a cock." Noel laughed.

"I know how to eat one..and the animal also." Jordan winked.

"Wow, that's good. Can I call you a nickname?" Noel asked.

"Call me...coffee." Jordan said casually.

"Why Coffee?" Noel asked.

"I'm good at grinding. That's why." Jordan winked and licked his lips.

"That's new." Noel laughed. Jordan noticed they were standing in the doorway.

"Do you want to talk? You're here for a reason..." Jordan as he showed Noel where to sit.

"I like you. I felt the spark when I first met you. I'll quit my job and run away with you. I promise. We need to get to know each other first." Noel said.

~3 years later~

"Noel! Get in here." Jordan called his boyfriend in.

"Yeah, daddy?" Noel winked at Jordan in the doorway. Jordan had been saving money over the three years they were boyfriends. He bought an engagement ring a month ago. Their anniversary was today.

"Happy Anniversary, baby." Jordan kissed Noel and pulled away to look at his boyfriend. He got down on one knee and Noel gasped.

"Noel Fisher. I promised you 3 years ago today to be loyal. I love you and I promise to never leave. Let's run away." He pulled out a ring that was engraved and said: "Joel is love...Joel is life." Noel nodded yes, Jordan stood up and hugged his now Fiancè. They were both crying.

"I love you so much, Jordan...Let's go." (What a plot twist, aye?) They both packed everything, got in the car, and drove. They would handle the wedding when they found somewhere to settle. With Noel's acting career, they could buy a house. (Will it work out? Hehe...next chapter soon.)


	5. Chapter 5

Jordan and Noel wanted to get married ASAP. After hours of searching, they found a priest that would wed them.

"Thank you, Father Mike." Jordan smiled at the priest.

"You're very welcome, boys." Mike smiled. Jordan called Bonnie and rubbed it in her face. She's bringing a +1, Gabby. They bought chairs for a beach wedding. Michelle and Evelyn were coming also. Everyone filed into the rows. Noel's family disowned him so he had nobody. Only the band...Mike started speaking.

"We gather here today to celebrate the love of two young men, Jordan Clarke and Noel Fisher. Before we start, does anyone object? Speak now or forever hold your peace." Mike looked around. Gabby was trying to yell but her mouth was duct taped shut..

"Okay! Gather hands." Jordan and Noel held each others hands. "Do you, Jordan Clarke, take Noel Fisher to be lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Jordan smiled.

"And do you, Noel Fisher, take Jordan Clarke to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Noel said...tears streaming down his face.

"I know it's in the wrong order but, you may exchange vows." Mike smiled.

"Noel, I love you and couldn't imagine living without you. You saved me from a toxic relationship and you loved me through 3 years. You helped me, stayed by my side, and made sure I was comfortable. I love you." Jordan slipped the ring on Noel's finger.

"Jordan, I don't know why Iove you, but I do. The way we fuck, kiss, touch, fight...it's all so great when it shouldn't be. I love you and need you." Noel put the ring on Jordan's finger.

"I now pronouce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom." Jordan pulled Noel in for a loving, big, wet, sloppy kiss that was good in all the right places. They grabbed each others hands and ran down the path.

(Next chapter will fuck you up. See you then. ;))) )


	6. Chapter 6

If you look at the cover photo, that's Joel's picture. Anyway, after they had the wedding, they went to go look for a house. After finding one that would fit the budget, they purchased it. They bought furniture. A bed, couch, fridge, stove, microwave, etc. After they moved in, they decided to break the bed in. Jordan got fucked, ass eaten, and succed. If you wanted a description, you're getting it. (Much love, Gabz.)

"Yas, Noel, fuck me right." Jordan said.

"Don't worry, Jord, you're getting it faster, stronger, and harder, which means better, baby. Noel winked. Jordan was on his back with his legs spread so Noel could see him.

"How many layers of irony are you on right now?" Noel asks looking down at Jordan.

"Like, maybe 5 or 6 right now, my dude." Jordan says.

"You are like a baby. Watch this." Noel says. "SUCC" Jordan stares at Noel looking for an explanation. Noel grabs the chicken flavored lube and looks at Jordan.

"This one? Or the grilled chicken?" Noel asks Jordan.

"First one. And hurry up. Plez..." Jordan whispers. Noel puts the lube on his fingers and shoves them into Jordan's ass. (Omf help.) He pulled them in and out while stretching Jordan. (I quit life.) He took out his fingers and shoved his dick in. With every thrust, he went faster, stronger, and harder. Jordan was moaning uncontrollably.

"Ah yes, fuck me daddy." Jordan said. Noel just winked at him and came. After he did that, he started jerking Jordan off. Jordan came, Noel pulled out and they cuddled. After a while they got dressed and decided to play dominoes. Jordan liked to play dominoes. He asked Noel and Noel said it was okay. They played for 4 hours with Bonnie, Gabby, Michelle, and Evelyn.

"We could be friends again." Bonnie said to Jordan.

"Alright." Jordan said. After they played Gabby hugged Noel goodbye for like...10 minutes. She saw the guy and fell in love with him. What a whore?

~1 Year Later~

"Jordan! Can we get this one?" Noel asked excitedly.

"Is it safe for children? Shaniqua needs to be safe." Jordan said to his husband.

"Yeah! He loves people." Noel said. Some girl came in, asked what cat they wanted, and went to call the references. (There are a lot of those in this story.) She came back 5 minutes later saying they could adopt the cat. They named it Chickenandrea. They left and Jordan went to pick up his daughter.

"Hi, Shaniqua! We got you a present." Jordan said holding his daughter. Noel came over and held Chickenandrea close to Shaniqua. Jordan smiled. This is what he always wanted. A life...He didn't need his band, Tony, or that piece of shit, Jake. He just needed Noel, Shaniqua and Chickenandrea.

"I love you, guys." Jordan said to his family.

"We love you, too, babe." (BAAAAAABE OMFG LMAOOO) Noel said back to his husband. The years went on, Shaniqua had a child at 12, Jordan and Noel were grandparents at 36, great grandparents at 49, and great great grandparents at 64. They died at 69 from all the stress in their life and went to hell.

That was the story of Joel. I hope you enjoyed learning about Jordan, his band, and the gay desires. Remember, leave hate on their videos. Bye! 3


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